Holding the mirror up

I read a great blog posting today by Dr Peter Fuda called, 'slowing down your movie - reflection in action'.

This caused me to reflect on an ouch moment from very recently - something that really conflicted with how I see myself.

Reflection on action is a review after the event and I do this a lot. Post coaching reflection for example is a useful thing to do. It gives you an outside of the moment perspective and you can focus - zoom in and out of your actions, what led to them, reflect on why you chose that particular action, your motive or reasoning for doing so etc.
Coaching supervision focusses a lot on post action review. Sometimes this is facilitated by taking you back to the moment and stepping back inside the picture as though it is happening right now, sometimes by stepping out of the picture and seeing it in front of you as a kind of replay all of which creates different lenses or perspectives. And this is all great stuff.


What is harder and potentially more uncomfortable is to reflect in action.
This is catching yourself in the moment and noticing what you are saying and doing, what is the root emotion, how is that impacting on you and on the people around you. What is the trigger for this.

This is the source of self awareness.

Very recently I found myself  saying to another that the way somebody spoke about others behind their back really conflicted with my values.
Stop and think about that for a moment!

I caught myself, pulled myself back, and changed my behaviour.
What an uncomfortable realisation that what I was seeing and  so disliked, I was actually also doing myself in that moment.

By pulling myself back, I can recognise the behaviour and the root and think  of a healthier way to deal with what is creating the discomfort.
And firstly that is about starting with me and being the example I want to see in the world.

Why not try reflecting in action today and see what you notice in yourself.
Do focus on what you admire and value in yourself as well as the more uncomfortable aspects of yourself that might emerge.

And importantly, be kind to yourself in that noticing - we are after all, only human....

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